Stu

Russ Kaplan

“Today I am a new man,” said Stu to himself as he hopped out of bed. Stu had always known he was destined for greatness, but something was different about today. Perhaps it was the way his pajamas had retained their crisp starchiness even after his 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Or maybe it was the minty-freshness of his toothpaste against his gums, or the brisk snap of icy shower water against his back. Whatever it was, Stu just knew that today was his for the taking, and nothing could get him down.

Stu was striding confidently toward the subway station when he froze in his tracks. He was being stared at, he was sure of it. Or followed. He stood there for a moment, then shook his head and laughed. “I’m being silly,” thought Stu to himself, “who would want to follow me?” He continued walking, then froze again. He was certain this time that he was being followed. He turned around very slowly, and saw nothing very unusual. He was about to assume he had imagined the whole thing, when he noticed a small brown duck standing about ten feet away on the sidewalk. It stared right at him.

Stu stood pondering what this duck might be doing standing there in the middle of the sidewalk, until he realized that he ought to catch his train. He started back on his walk, then froze again and turned around. He looked over his shoulder- the duck was standing there, still ten feet behind. Stu began to walk again, looking back to find the duck waddling briskly behind him. He speeded up and widened his steps, but this duck was in particularly good shape and kept up rather easily. Stu looked straight ahead and took his quickest, longest strides as he approached the subway station. “I mustn’t run,” thought Stu, “or I will lose my cool-headed sense of optimism, and be admitting defeat to this duck.” Stu entered the station just as the train pulled up. He stepped on and turned around to see if he had lost his web-footed stalker. The duck was making a beeline for the train when the doors closed and shut him out. Stu breathed a sigh of relief, and chuckled to himself as the train pulled away. “What an interesting morning,” he thought.

It was then that Stu noticed he was the only passenger on his subway car. He stood blinking and wondering how this could be during rushhour. No matter, the train rolled on and started over the bridge to the main island of the city. Halfway across the bridge, Stu felt a mild rumble, then a violent lurch that sent him careening to the side of the car. He felt very heavy, as though the train were lifting straight up very rapidly. Clawing his way up to the window, he looked out and found himself surrounded by a sky full of ducks.

Their wings beat against the windows and rumbled under the floor. Stu looked down at the bridge where his car had been lifted up by the horde of waterfowl. The car began to roll on its side, and Stu’s head slammed against a seat. Shaking his head to recover, he didn’t notice that the doors, now on the floor, had come open. The car tilted, and Stu rolled down the sloping car and out the open door. Stu’s face got puffy as he entered a free fall, and as he started to think that maybe this would not be such a good day after all, he landed comfortably on the back of an unusually large duck. He looked around at the rest of the flock, then down at the endless swarm of ant-like people on the overcrowded island. Out of the corner of one eye, he thought he saw one duck wink at him.

“Somehow,” thought Stu, “I just knew it would be today.”